Tag Archives: Love

Feeling…ow wow wow feelings

10 Feb

Did St. Valentine exist? Find out more.

Apparently the origin of Valentine’s day remains obscure to this day. It has been deleted from the Roman Catholic Calendar of Saints in the General Roman Calendar .

Other than the knowledge of his burial was on the Via Flaminia on the 14th of February, nothing much is known of St. Valentine.

Valentine ’s Day has been conceived very much a day of fanaticized romanticism, a day of sweet words and chocolates tantalizing one’s desire to be utterly spoilt in the mood of love. Love, sweet sweet love. Always forgotten that most chocolates sold in the market has only  a small percentage of pure chocolate, with its milk and sugar content making 70-90% of each delectable bite you take. I had pure chocolate before, and it is bitter to the bittergourd’s evil twin’s core core. An acquired taste they say. The sweet taste of pure chocolate, as what is commercially channeled to the consumers, is really not so delectable after all.

And so it is with love. The bitter truth is that, it is not as sweet as people usually expect it to be. Does it mean it’s just mindless pain and something just plainly horrible? I think I will take an example from something less obvious than bittergourd which has tons of health benefits; known to treat and prevent Malaria, has cardioprotective effect, helps increase insulin sensitivity for diabetes and the list goes on. I guess bittergourd is a good example after all. I’m not exactly sure why but most food that aren’t so enticing to the taste buds are good for you, food which takes a whole new sense of gustation to be digestible.

I’ve been seeing this verse a lot but haven’t seen it in this perspective till now: “Love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might…” from many books of the bible.

I suppose this realisation made me think of what the verse was trying to translate, that Love is NOT JUST a feeling, but it takes all your soul, all your heart and might to love. It takes your mind, heart and will power to direct your feelings, and not the other way around. It takes great courage and commitment to do what is right. As one of our priests always advocates that love is more than butterflies in your stomach,  it takes much more than emotional and “feel good” dependencies. It is true when he says songs like Love is All Around Us, originally sung by the The Troggs, and covered by Wet Wet Wet (Seriously?) that revived this oldie, presents exactly that love is associated only with feelings.

I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes.
Well love is all around me, and so the feeling grows.
It´s written on the wind, it´s everywhere I go.
So if you really love me, come on and let it show.

You know I love you, I always will.
My mind’s made up by the way that I feel,
there´s no beginning, there´ll be no end
cause on my love you can depend.

How can you say that I can depend on your love, if your mind is made up by the way that you feel, and that feelings consistently change and emotions irrational most of the time. I didn’t mean to be annoyed by the song but I was almost offended upon reading that verse where he gives an impossible promise in the heat of his feelings. Songs like Colbie Caillat’s Bubbly somehow doesn’t seem as sweet and adorable anymore.

The rain is falling on my window pane
but we are hiding in a safer place
under covers staying safe and warm
you give me feelings that I adore

C: It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
I always know
that you make me smile 
please stay for a while now
just take your time 
where ever you go

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what Pope John Paul II’s message to the youths on the 19th World Youth Day.

“Dear friends, if you learn to discover Jesus in the Eucharist, you will also know how to discover him in your brothers and sisters, particularly in the very poor. The Eucharist received with love and adored with fervour becomes a school of freedom and charity in order to fulfil the commandment to love. Jesus speaks to us in the wonderful language of the gift of self and of love so great as to give our own life for it. Is that an easy thing? You know very well that it is not! It is not easy to forget our self, but if we do, it draws us away from possessive and narcissistic love and opens us up to the joy of a love that is self-giving. This Eucharistic school of freedom and charity teaches us to overcome superficial emotions in order to be rooted firmly in what is true and good; it frees us from self-attachment in order to open ourselves to others. It teaches us to make the transition from an affective love to an effective love. For love is not merely a feeling; it is an act of will that consists of preferring, in a constant manner, the good of others to the good of oneself: Greater love has no man than this, that a man lays down his life for his friends” (Jn 15:13).

We do not eat like kids anymore.

We do not eat like kids anymore

Although feelings do play a role in love to a certain extent, it shouldn’t be the head gear and leading force in it. C.S. Lewis quotes that feelings come and go, and another quot by Thich Nhat Hanh, “Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.”  Our feelings are temperamental and can change like the weather.

Every unselfish act upon reasonable thought and contemplation of preferring a greater good for another and also yourself despite the pain that one might have to go through in the process of it, is love, although not yet fully divine. A young friend posted on his facebook: “Love, without suffering is but an illusion”. A very interesting thing to think about.

This suffering isn’t masochistic or morbid in anyway (it can seem so short-term) but it’s a joyful suffering. I do not favour bittergourds in anyway but this brings me back to the example of bittergourds vs. diabetic content in comercial chocolates., let’s just call it candy for now. Obviously bittergourd doesn’t taste great but its health benefits are amazing per se, candy on the other hand is more appealing to the tastebuds, or for instance, fast food and instant noodles, they leave you craving for more. In the long run, you know which one gives you smoother skin, cancer-fighting phytos, better digestion, better eye sight, leaner muscles, height, abs, longer legs, longer eyelashes, better metabolism, perfect hair that bounces lightly as the wind brushes through and etc. (I’m not exactly a nutritionist but I would like a vegetable that would give all that goodness to me in one bite).

On a more serious note, such suffering has contemplative hope and sees the greater joy in it rather than a selfish act of satisfying momentarily one’s lust or desires, in consideration of what’s best for both parties. I suppose that’s how it is with singlehood as well, accepting whatever you’re called to and not waiting in desperation for the “right one” to come along. If you constantly are searching in desperation, believe me you’re going to end up pouncing on any “faeces-hole” that comes by, so much blinded by your emotions and waiting for someone to fill that despair in your life. This blog gives a great insight on living a vocation of (1) marriage, and (2) dedicated virginity or celibacy–a committed single state. Check out this site on vocations.

I hope I’ll never be too caught up on the ideals of fantasies, gifts and romanticism (although all these shouldn’t be left out as expression of love has to be active, gifts are nice…hehehe), it’s been tiring to ponder upon the underlying meaning of love, I know that it is not a fleet of feelings, but a long-term commitment with a capital C, (C for Commitment and not Chocolate, chocolate…chocolate…mmmmm) to offer what’s best for your loved ones. Be it if you’ve chosen singlehood or marriage.

Just to digress a little, you can get free Valentine’s Day wallpapers HERE for your desktop,iphone or Androids. 🙂

“For love is not merely a feeling; it is an act of will that consists of preferring, in a constant manner, the good of others to the good of oneself…”- John Paul II

Half Empty

15 Jan

Click Five-
Members:
Ben Romans
Ethan Mentzer
Joe Guese
Joey Zehr
Kyle Patrick

Influences:
The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, The Cars, ELO, Weezer.

 

Empty

Tried to take a picture
Of love
Didn’t think I’d miss her
That much
I want to fill this new frame
But its emptyTried to write a letter
In ink
Its been getting better
I think
I got a piece of paper
But its empty
Its empty

Maybe we’re trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we’re torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We’re empty

And I’ve even wondered
If we
Should be getting under
These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But its empty
Its empty

Maybe we’re trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we’re torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We’re empty

….

 

Heart Breaking Dawn

21 Nov

With new movie The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn coming up, most of my friends girls especially are really excited about it to a point it scares me that they seem very much into vampires and werewolves. Although I’m not really very into bloodsucking and all but I give huge thumbs up to the author Stephenie Meyer who made her dreams literally come true( yes she dreamt about vampires and really awakened to millions). That’s why sleeping is always a good thing, the first step to dreams.

I guess people really love this ….ghost movie… is out of the adoration of the love between Edward Cullen and Bella Swan being so strong and eternal that both are willing to die and sacrifice for each other, such love that we all do actually want or dream about.

Anyway my main point is the soundtrack itself by Christina Perri, “a thousand years”. She actually got a tattoo “bitten” below her wrist being a die hard fan of Twilight Saga….sheeshh..

I like this song.*)

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I’m afraid

To fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt

Suddenly goes away somehow

….One step closer

I have died everyday

waiting for you

Darling, don’t be afraid

I have loved you for a Thousand years

I’ll love you for a Thousand more

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything

Take away

What’s standing in front of me

Every breath, Every hour has come to this


…One step closer


I have died everyday

Waiting for you

Darling, don’t be afraid

I have loved you for a Thousand years

I’ll love you for a Thousand more

And all along I believed

I would find you

Time has brought

Your heart to me

I have loved you for a Thousand years

I’ll love you for a Thousand more

“If you say you have lost the love for someone, it’s the wrong understanding of love. For love in itself is eternal.”

a Fowl play…

19 Apr

I stared at the winsome birds

Such distinct colours that blended so profoundly,

Colours touching more than the sight that it resonated its words to me,

“How could anyone know what colours would fuse together so delightfully?”

Ravishing my every heed,

I gazed in awe of such a tiny thing,

If I were that bird, could I in such bliss sing?

Could my other feathered ones sing the songs I bring?

Would I still have a desolate heart though the frolicsome fleet around?

Or maybe I wouldn’t have so big a heart to fill or feel,

& I wouldn’t have to fall for something inane,

A futile affection.

Random links which don’t make sense:

A Horror film

Music in all its poignancy

22 Nov

I love music, very much indeed, I discovered that at a very tender age of 5 I think, maybe even younger. My mom said I could pull a pavarotti with my whistle when I was about 3 or 4 years, definitely I’m making that up but the truth is I could whistle could you believe that! Such disposable talents…

But I brushed it off throughout the years, could be because I was never encouraged to take it seriously in a family that was competing so much academically with other families from mars & now I’m wishing I took music & piano just a bit more seriously…

These are some of the songs with depth & insights I could relate to, it’s nice to know that there are great artists around that produce more then music on sex, lust, fame, money that seems to amalgamate so much of secularism with the meaning of liberalism.

*Sigh*, anyway I’m a huge fan of Sara Bareilles‘ music & lyrics, I like how the music is composed along with her lyrics, though at times it’s hard to make out what she’s trying to say but I like how her thoughts & feelings are poured out into a bona fide song. In a long time I haven’t heard songs that I would enjoy so much or made me cry so much. That’s the poignant music I’m talking about. One of my favourites:

Breathe Again
Car is parked, bags are packed, but what kind of heart doesn’t look back
At the comfortable glow from the porch, the one I would still call yours
All those words came undone and now I’m not the only one
Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns
All I have, all I need, he’s the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I’m searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I’ll breathe again
I’ll breathe again

Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth
And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view
Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart
And my burden to bear is a love I can’t carry anymore
All I have, all I need, he’s the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I’m searching for something
Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I’ll breathe again

It hurts to be here
I only wanted love from you
It hurts to be here
What am I gonna do?

All I have, all I need, he’s the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I’m searching….

So much pain when you love someone so much yet you know that you can’t be with the person anymore, or that you have to let him go due to reasons or fate.

This part really breaks my heart :’ S

“Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth
And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view
Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart
And my burden to bear is a love I can’t carry anymore”

…..

“It hurts to be here
I only wanted love from you
It hurts to be here
What am I gonna do?”

To love someone really comes with so much pain that sometimes seems unbearable, you struggle to breathe, as each & every single breath taken hurts, & you’re dying to relive that breath of memories with him. But somehow you need to learn to let go, & know that one day you’ll breathe again…

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.”- Angela Monet

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